So I finally peeled my lazy ass out from underneath all of the Reeses and Kit Kat wrappers, put down the milk shake, and walked the whole twenty feet to my apartment’s gym.
I felt accomplished the moment I laced up my Reeboks…which I then had to fight because the last three times I did that, I figured it was enough to put the shoes on and sat down to watch another episode of Secret Circle.
This can’t be good.
There was a time when I out ran the boys and pushed 200 lbs on leg presses—I did yoga—I did P90x, damnit!! I even ate vegan cheese! I now think about my inhaler when I go up the stairs…and I’m not sure, but I think my ass might qualify for a separate zip code.
My 21 year old self would hang her head in shame.
And so, it appears that I have a decision to make…as Patton Oswalt says, I have two options: I can either do something about it or I have to start becoming fascinated by what is happening to me physically. Since I’m supposed to be in my prime, I have decided to do go with the first one.
I’m a vegetarian, so while I’m slender, I’m soft and squishy and I have a looming fear that those are not new dimples on my upper thighs (you’re welcome for the visual). I am aging, and I am not happy about it. When did I authorize this? I don’t recall signing any contracts saying that I’m allowed to sprout gray…we’ll call it “tinsel” in the name of the holiday season (look, mom, I’m festive.)…from my head or that I am to start getting all worried about gravity!! I swear, I’ll sue.
My idle legal threats aside, I’ve decided that, since lately I’ve been so terrible about sticking to my blogs, I’m going to force myself to keep a workout journal online. I figure, why not—at least this way if I allow myself to indulge in my much-needed chocolate martini’s the rest of you can kick my ass about it later when I don’t post something.
That’s right. The pressure is now on you—see how I did that?
The truth is, I’ve been in kind of a funk lately and I need the endorphins and the confidence boost. If not, I’ll wallow in my own self pity in a dark and secluded corner surrounded by popcorn and whatever the hell that minty chocolatey frozen wonderment is that Kira’s mom left in the freezer for us when she visited this weekend. And, trust me, we don’t want that. It’s not a pretty sight.
So back to the basics, then. No more Ramen noodles because I’m too lazy to make something else…no more desserts without cardio to burn it off. It’s time to get back into shape so I can emotionally shop instead of emotionally eat. Shoes have been convenient because they always fit—but being frumpy with awesome shoes is never in style.
Today I didn’t do anything crazy—no cardio—just some free weight routines and worked on my legs and abs a little. I know, I know—you’re supposed to exercise in muscle groups—but I don’t pretend to care about that…I just want to be toned and doing it my way does always seem to work for me.
I do already feel a little better, which is always good. Working out has always been a good way to temper my innate craziness, and with a 24-hour gym right outside my door I really don’t have an excuse. So, yeah, working out again…perhaps I’ll do some yoga tomorrow :).
**Just as an update…not five minutes after I originally posted this, Kira the Enabler served me a cup full of said minty chocolatey frozen wonderment. All of my efforts are in vain.**